Day 5 dealing with depression

Today I felt overwhelmed by frustration and depression. Mom is not moving well, and I’m tired. Dealing with the back end of toileting is also getting to me. And since mom would rather I took care of her, she’s holding out on using the bathroom and laying down for a rest until I am in the house. This defeats the purpose of having paid caregivers here. I’m not saying it doesn’t help to have these helpers do my housework, but the housework was not what was getting me down and irritable… it was having to drop whatever I was doing at unpredictable intervals to care for mom (or dad, at times). It was the constant company of my parents, the caring for them, that was what I really wanted help with.

I’m angry that my mom seems to care more about the cats in the household than my emotional well-being. I’m angry that my father thinks that if the caregivers are not constantly in motion and cleaning or working that they are not earning their way. I’m extremely depressed today and in need of some long, quality time where I am not responsible for anyone or anything.

I know this will not last forever. But it’s very difficult to deal with now.

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