Taking care of the caregiver

My mom is fond of saying “I never thought it would be like this”, referring to her physical situation, her medical condition, and so on. I think she thought she would be on the go, active and independent until the day she dropped dead in her tracks in her home with her cats and her husband. She never shifted her reality, even when her physical condition deteriorated and she broke her hip…. always thinking that someday she’d be “whole” again.

Honestly, I never thought it would be like this, either. I figured that someday I’d be caring for one or the other of my parents at the end of their life… didn’t consider it would be both. I also knew my parents were not the most positive of people, but I did not realize my mother had it in her to inflict so much emotional pain. I never thought I’d be struggling to keep my head above water physically and emotionally…. with a mother who rarely seems to feel empathy.


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