Good day, sunshine

Yesterday was an amazing day. The sun was shining. Mom was smiling…. this happens so infrequently, it’s like a red-letter day, worthy of note.

I wish I could find out why this day occurred, and use that recipe to make it recur. This wasn’t a “mom’s back” day; her good mood was unlike any that I can remember. She watched basketball, for Pete’s sake – and cheered for one of the teams as if she was a high school student cheering for her school’s athletes. In fact, this was a high school game, and she described her feeling as being reminiscent of attending a game in her youth.

Her good mood continued into and through dinner; a celebration of a birthday in our family, and a celebration of mom actually interacting with all of us in a positive way. Usually she’s looking for the cats or distracted by her pain or something she doesn’t like about the dinner offering, but last night? It was a real family dinner.

Unfortunately, the swing upward often has a precipitous drop – when she reminds herself of everything she can no longer do. She had vivid dreams last night, and woke me at midnight telling me that she’d just had a fight with dad (sleeping deeply next to her) and that she needed to get into her night-clothes (she was already dressed for bed). We made a trip to the bathroom to change the depends and get reoriented. This morning, she was crying because she feels like the dreams meant something and she feels guilty.

But I can still bask in the yesterday feeling, even though today there are clouds in the sky and in my mother’s mood. Maybe today will retain some of the leftovers from yesterday. I have hope.

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