Anger

Watching my mom slowly slip into no-where makes me angry. Where does the anger go? Where is the outlet? It’s no-one’s fault, it just IS what it IS.

Today, mom ate. She ate breakfast for the CNA. For lunch, she ate the strawberries and chocolate cake I brought as well as 2 little containers of ice cream. She says so little, but today was a day of nods and single words. Did you have enough to eat? Head nods. Do you want water? Head nods. Do you want us to stay? “Go”

So, we go.

Dad seems to be doing okay, but I know he misses mom. He’s reading more books these days. He watches movies, tv, listens to Dr. Oz  How I detest that man (Dr. Oz)! He introduces a million possible health fixes on his talk show but doesn’t actually endorse them… does he? But dad keeps grasping at the threads, maybe Dr. Oz will give him the ultimate fix that will make having Parkinson’s, being overweight, and being over 80 a good thing. Ugh.

Bed.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. pollyann27
    May 25, 2013 @ 21:17:48

    Bed is good. And anger isn’t all that bad either. As you say, it just is what it IS. For me, feeling trapped makes it happen. Whether we are caught in the helplessness of not being able to fix things for our aging parents, or fix things for ourselves, anger is a really quite natural response. As a minister’s wife for 50+ years, I know all the biblical platitudes that should guilt me into gratitude and out of anger, but I no longer go there. I get to gratitude w/o the platitudes. Gratitude does seem to be a universal antidote to anger. Not a cure-all, but at least it provides a vacation away from the heat. One of the things I am most grateful for now is the freedom inside my brain. I hope you are experiencing it even as you cope with your challenges. My best to you. Polly

    Reply

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